Awhile back I made an entry about the educational value of a masturbating walrus. While I was using it to address the sheer volume of niche-content available on the web, now a month later, it has proven another MItB maxim. Who knew we could learn so much about digital society from a lonely sea-mammal.
The search phrase “masturbating walrus,” and variants there-of, are by far the largest traffic source for this blog. Apparently, the Inter-public is even more interested in a walrus slapping it (with flippers), than an underage track-star in a sports bra (my 2nd highest search phrase).
The corporate, and indie-corporate, and sub-indie-dude-in-his-basement-who-makes-custom-Lando-Calrissian-cosutimes, world is convinced that that they’re going to be able to make money advertising, and selling things on the Internet. Really, they still think that.
It’s true, there are millions of people on the Internet every day, but they want to watch videos of masturbating walruses. They’re not going to buy your Zorb-Tees, the new Silver Chair CD, AXE body spray or Hot Pockets. They’re going to laugh at the wanking walrus, or wank it to the teenage track star, and move on.
Advertising is about demographics and conveying your message to the right customer. How can we possibly identify what the Masturbating Walrus Demographic is interested in purchasing?
“Masturbating walrus” wasn’t really the reason I tuned into this site, but now you’ve got my attention. I’ve always wondered about the business model of “animalnaughtyparts.com”… nah, we’ll let the niche porn industry handle that one.
Make love, not war!