Since I made a post referencing Jasper’s blog a few times, you’ll notice the addition of “pissing vomit,” to the “why people come here” section. Yes, he did warn me, but I’m foolish.
Since you’re here, pissing vomit searchers,
There are only two possible reasons to google that, and here are your answers.
1. Yes, it’s bad, go to the doctor.
2. No, the name isn’t taken; I look forward to your demo.
You’re welcome.
Leave a Comment » | 
awesome, information, internet, the problem | Tagged: pissing, pissing vomit, vomit, why people come here | 
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Posted by c007km
I was avoiding the topic in order to assuage suspicion that the only thing I read is Webvomit, but since that’s true, I s’pose we had better own up here at MiTB.
The coverage of “Bacon Bust ’07″ has been extensive, so I’m going to assume you’re up to speed, if not I’ll let Jasper and friends catch you up (read that).
With the arrest of OiNK-Dude, the Internet-Community has suggested that it was the best place to find, hear and posses new music, paid or unpaid and it echoes a concern that many had with Radiohead’s free release is that there’s no ONE PLACE to get all this, and get it good. Some have even suggested that were there such a place, they’d be willing to pay for it! Were it DRM free and 192k, of course. Well there isn’t, but there is one where you can get them DRM free at 256k.
Now, no self-respecting music blogger or fan is going to pay to sample every record on a given Tuesday to find something good, which is why we need filters; for me, that filter is Webvomit. Obviously, Jasper can’t listen to everything, let alone pay for all of that, so he needs a filter, which is the PR agent trying to get written up on his site, but who’s paying the PR agents? That’s where the record label comes in … but they can’t listen to everything themselves and filter that out either, so they turn to their favorite filter, which for me, is Webvomit. Obviously Jasper can’t listen to everything, let alone pay for all of that, so he needs a filter, which is the PR agent trying to get written up on his site, but who’s paying the PR agents? That’s where the record label comes in … but they can’t listen to everything themselves and filter that out either, so they turn to their favorite filter, which for me, is Webvomit. Obviously Jasper can’t listen to everything, let alone pay for all of that, so he needs a filter, which is the PR agent trying to get written up on his site, but who’s paying the PR agents? That’s where the record label comes in … but they can’t listen to everything themselves and filter that out either, so they turn to their favorite filter, which for me, is Webvomit. Obviously Jasper can’t listen to everything, let alone pay for all of that, so he needs a filter, which is the PR agent trying to get are you not getting this yet written up on his site, but who’s paying the PR agents? That’s where the record label comes in … but they can’t listen to everything themselves and filter that out either, so they turn to their favorite filter, which for me, is Webvomit. Obviously Jasper can’t listen to everything, let alone pay for all of that, so he needs a filter, which is the PR agent trying to get written up on his site, but who’s paying the PR agents? That’s where the record label comes in … but they can’t listen to everything themselves and filter that out either, so they turn to their favorite filter, which for me, is Webvomit.
Everybody is just waiting for someone else to toss a stick into the spokes and end this torture. In the meantime, enjoy the daisy chain.
1 Comment | cds, mp3, music, website | Tagged: business, flie sharing, mp3, music, OiNK, Webvomit | Permalink
Posted by c007km
As a Television writer (yes, a real writer, as in I get paid for it), I use a software program called Final Draft Pro. I like this software program, so don’t let the title of this post fool you … I just like the word “queef,” and it had an ‘f’ in it, so logistically it worked out.
After having not too few drinks at lunch today, I had the chance to peruse the “ask the expert” section of that software, and once I finished the with the Teleplay Expert section, I simply had to open up my blog and type the word queef.
I wanted to cut and paste the entire article, but those crafty FDPro programmers have displayed the text in some astral projection that I cannot apple-c or v; so you’ll have to settle for the bits of hilarity that I’m patient enough to type out. If you have Final Draft Pro 7, I suggest you follow along on your own. If you don’t have the software, you’re not going to relate to this at all, so scroll down and watch the walrus masturbate.
The Teleplay Expert for the software is none other than Larry Brody. No, I hadn’t heard of him either, but Final Draft is kindly enough to provide a Biography
Larry Brody’s credits read like a history of Television….
This is not a lie, they do read like a history of Television that no one watched, like Mike Hammer, The Fall Guy, Medical Story, Walker Texas Ranger, Star Trek: Voyager … you get the idea. So, with a firm image of Chuck Norris in your mind, let’s take a few snippets from his sage advice to up and comers in the industry.
First, there are for sections regarding the steps of the Television writing process, self explanatory enough, but after those, once the diligent young Starbucks-on-LaBrea employee has absorbed all valuable info from Mr. Larry, there is a final section entitled “Final Thoughts about Television Writing,” which should, instead, be called “this shit is hilarious, please read on.”
It also takes something most books on any kind of writing don’t want to talk about. This is the dread ‘T-Word’, or: talent.
So I clicked on “talent …”
Here’s where I really wish I could cut and paste, because, what follows is a lecture on exactly what personality traits are present in good writers. Mr. Larry claims to be able to tell, upon meeting someone, whether they can or can’t be a good writer. Mind you, this is published in a piece of software that someone has already paid a couple hundred dollars to use for writing screenplays or television scripts. Now, I’m the cockiest motherfucker on the planet, and this whole blog is about how most brains simply aren’t qualified to create content worth the time of other brains. Somehow, Mr. Larry has managed to offend ME by claiming he can tell that someone will be a poor writer by the fact that they don’t like to read, or have a girlfriend.
Most writers I know feel alienated no matter where they are
So, the lesson is that if you want to write for Walker Texas Ranger, you had better be extra socially awkward at the interview, lest someone assume you can’t write because you have an active social life and participate in family discussion.
Finally, after using what I s’pose we’ll call a sentence, “And so, for that matters, do your characters.” he states clearly,
If you use the information in this Ask the Expert Section with passion and urgency (and good grammar and spelling too!), you and your writing will reap wonderful results. Even execs have emotions. Write so that every reader gets so carried away they just have to embrace you because there’s no reason on earth, heaven, or hell for them to say no.”
“gets?” really? Seriously Larry? You’re going to lecture us on grammar and spelling and end it all with “gets?”
Someone has been watching too much TV.
1 Comment | Final Draft Pro, Larry Brody, Walker Texas Ranger, schmuck | Permalink
Posted by c007km
My apologies for sticking so tightly to this Radiohead thing, but every day it looks like a smarter, and better move for Radiohead – and my musician and label readers should be paying attention. Mind you, I say for Radiohead and I mean just that; Radiohead are going to end up winners here, and by “winners,” I mean from now on, they only eat 24ct. gold meat.
This article in the New York Magazine (pause to enjoy the irony of the Neiman Marcus ad on that page) that speculates on information given in the Radiohead’s confirmation email, coupled with the other bits that have emerged after the initial mushroom-cloud of “ZOMGZ! RADIOHEAD IS GIVING AWAY THEIR MUSIC!?!” died down has painted a fairly clear, and logical picture of what’s going on here.
Radiohead is using, get this, their music as advertising for their band. Whether they’re trying to sell CDs to you later, or themselves to EMI for more than EMI is actually worth these days; this pay-what-you-want pre-order effectively allowed Radiohead to get paid a couple million bucks (my best guess) for advertising their music, which, in turn, will make them even more millions later.
Again, look at the beauty and brilliance of it.
In the end, there will always need to be money going into music; to pay the talented artists, and the people who work very hard, and invest their own money to bring those artists to the top of the more-music-than-talent pile.
Radiohead has decided, and decided correctly, that they can charge you for something other than crappy 130kbps copies of their music.
As my father always said, the first reefer is always free.
1 Comment | advertising, business, mp3, music, radiohead | Tagged: advertising, business, mp3, music, radiohead | Permalink
Posted by c007km
That’s correct, all of you can accurately predict industry trends and artist motives if you’re a contestant on my new show …
FOLLOW THE DOLLAS!
Here’s me … right again. I’m guessing details about EMI wrapping up a new deal with Radiohead will be released in 2-4 weeks. In the meantime … leaks abound.
Leave a Comment » | business, mp3, music, radiohead | Permalink
Posted by c007km
Aside from the fact that any band with such an obvious visual pun in their name should be banned from doing anything this close to Halloween, Radiohead has, at least for a few weeks, made the Internet smile.
On the surface (yes, there will be complaining later) it’s very nice to see one of the MegaBandz coming out with a decent alternative business model. Of course we all remember the Smashin’ ze Pumpkinz bid to change the industry, and how it looked more like a rhino trying to hump a live sea otter, metaphorically.
Paste does a good job of summarizing the hype-so-far, which, to the band’s credit, is relatively mysterious. The publicity value of this stunt is nearing neo-Russian-tycoon-yacht proportions, and the more the press speculates, the more hookers they can afford to fill their yacht with.
The overwhelming media response, especially in blog-town-USA, has been essentially, “Radiohead are the greatest; I want to have babies with them, digitally, for one British penny.” Let’s take a step back and look at some aspects of this which the band-camp has left in the dark.
While the dudes in Radiohead enjoy wealth somewhere between Batman and the dude who owns the James Bond trademark, they’re negotiating their new contract with EMI. That’s right, I’m suggesting that this will not last forever; remember they’ve only said that this name-your-price model will be available for people who pre-order the download. Could this all be a bargaining chip on a closed-door negotiation table? . I’m not saying it is, buy they’re not saying it isn’t.
So while it’s very refreshing to see a new take on the record industry, I wouldn’t go calling Radiohead the People’s Messiah, at least not yet. Maybe they just realized In Rainbows sounded exactly like their last three records and thought, “shit, we better give this away because we’ve already sold it twice.”
5 Comments | business, fame, music, radiohead | Permalink
Posted by c007km