Every year Television networks attempt to sell most of their advertising inventory up front, in what they’ve creatively named, “up fronts.” That’s all going to go down this week. Broadcast networks (cable is still a chaotic demon-orgy without a classy schedule) will roll out their new shows and wrangle the valuable toothpaste and deodorant dollars for the ’08 – ’09 season.
This year, they’re nervous. In addition to the slow economy lowering ad budgets overall; this Internet thing has been getting a lot of hype, and Madison Ave. is starting to pay attention – at least a little. So, as everyone expects some ad dollars to flow into the endless sea of Internet (a drop in the ocean), is this the end of TV?
No, sit back down, silly venture-capitalists and google-maniacs.
The one thing I know, as fact, is that for most advertisers ROI on web advertising is non-existant. I don’t care how many clicks your website gets, your advertisers are losing an average of 10% … go ahead, do a survey. You’ll get a 10% loss on digital advertising.
What I hadn’t been able to put a finger on is why Web-Ads don’t sell. Logically, they should out sell any other type of advertising by the Roker-Load (equivalent to five Al Rokers, denoted R). An ad that targets customers so specifically (search) and they can instantly purchase the item with a click … it’s an advertiser’s dream, I know, I get it. In practice, however, 10% loss. WHY!?
Then I thought of the Pharohs. I like to be the Pharaoh – who doesn’t like to be the Pharaoh?
The Pharaoh does not search for what he wants. The Pharaoh holds court and the best sheep, linens and tasty-Egyptian-skanks are selected and paraded in front of him. With a wave of his deified finger he refuses or accepts his choice.
While watching Network TV, I am the Pharaoh. It costs a lot to buy that 30 second spot on the Office so only the best in the land can afford to be there. I sit back, sip Pabst from my gilded goblet, one hand on my fine hound, and allow these merchants to present me with their goods while I await the next performer (I sure hope it’s another ancient-skank).
Walking down to the market is for peasants. I don’t want to pick through crowded stalls, with merchants yelling at me from every angle, and lepers selling Identity Theft Protection pulling at my pant legs. Even if I go to the tomato district, looking to buy tomatoes, half of them are going to be rotten or have some kind of ancient worm to eat my brain.
TV is for Pharaohs; the Internet is for peasants – and everyone wants to be a Pharaoh.
I am fan of Pharaoh