Yahoo! is marketing their search marketing with a direct mail campaign, ensuring that the first thing customers know about Yahoo! Search Marketing is that direct mail is better. Apparently, they also want to emphasize the fact that they have zero-clue when it comes to targeted marketing. After all – they sent one of these things to me- a guy who writes about how useless the Internet is on a daily basis. A guy who also, for comedy’s sake, lists his company under “Mortuary Services and Embalming” in the phone book. A guy who, apparently, writes about himself in the third person. What a dumbass.
The greatest part about Yahoo!’s campaign, which appears to be targeted at advertising agencies and marketing companies and not morticians, is how incredibly expensive it is.
Man, it sure is pretty, with all that purple, but it sure his heavy?! What could be in here?! I bet it’s magic … really heavy, expensive to mail, magic!
A booklet, mirroring the cover of the box … someone at Yahoo! let the designers convince them that they knew more about business than the business people, but the best was yet to come. Tucked under the booklet, was a big, purple button – Batteries Included.
Yes, when you press the button, it says “Yahoo!” … you know the Yahoo, the one from the commercials.
Susan Vobejda, Yahoo’s VP of Marketing, was nice enough to include a short note, which I can only hope will answer the burning questions that this monstrosity has engendered like, WTF?; and Really? Seriously? You thought this was a good idea?
Alas, I would have to be content to wonder.
While Susan does mention “strong ROI,” “Low CPA” and goes a long way to emphasize her grasp of the sentence fragment, the only thing that this campaign really tells me about Yahoo! is that they’re really good at spending a metric ass-ton of cash on freaking the shit out of my dog
But wait… there’s a post script, perhaps it’s all explained …
Oh, never mind, she’s just repeating that again.
I’d also like to know who these clients she keeps talking about are? Yahoo! Has no idea what I do, do they? (and no, I’m not actually a mortician).
“ensuring that the first thing customers know about Yahoo! Search Marketing is that direct mail is better. ”
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lemme know when that button goes up on ebay. I want it.