Why not just use Ebay?

June 25, 2008

Here’s an idea: If Ebay were to drop the per-posting fee, or allow volume-posters to pay a flat-rate per month for unlimited postings, they would (or should, unless humans are as dumb as I say they are), effectively put Google AdWords out of business in a week.

Without a posting-fee, Ebay becomes AdWords paid on commission, not click. They also provide you with a free E-Commerce site, with better reporting than most of the mid-level, on-server, software packages out there.

Commission is a business person’s best friend, “If you don’t do your job, you don’t get paid, and the better you do it, the better you’re paid.” It’s such a simple and wonderful concept for both parties.

Until the Internet, there was no way to track commissions from advertising, but now – since Google is so proud of knowing exactly who, what, where, why and how someone bought your product, why haven’t they instated a commission system? If Google AdWords worked, Google would make heepum much benjamin working on commission.

Google AdWords doesn’t work for most companies though, so they take their payment up front.


Silence, fools.

June 23, 2008

Can we arrange for a few minutes, (or if I dare say, a day) of Internet-Silence for a dude who affected the way we all communicate so vastly.

Yeah, he was motherfucking, cocksucking, hilarious – and that’s why I bought his records, but what few people realize is that the basis of language censorship in the US is based on good ol’ George. His case, which eventually landed in the Supreme Court, is the reason why you can say “shit” on Hockey Night in Canada, but not on Good Morning America.

I’m bummed that George didn’t get to see the word-ban repealed – but at least we’ve come a long way. Cable TV (unregulated by the FCC Standards) and ballsy networks taking advantage of the “while kids are watching,” clause have given a little freedom back.

So today, when your waitress asks you if you’d like fries or chips, reply “Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt”
and if your boss wants a P&L from last week’s trade show you say, “Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits”


QTrax Launch Recap: I told you so #55643

June 19, 2008

I’m not hungover this morning, but I am still drunk. Perhaps that’s what is going on over at QTrax; they’re all still drunk on the Internet – too much Internet. I’ve scoured said Internet for news, even blogs, about users’ experiences with QTrax and have found very little – other than a few varying forms of “It’s still not up.”

The faithful tech-followers over at Ars Technica tried the service reporting,

Signup and installation of the client for “the world’s first free and legal P2P music download network” went without a hitch. Qtrax is only available in the US for now, and then only on Windows (a Mac client is on its way) at its re-re-relaunch. After getting the company’s client up and running, we were surprised by what appears to be yet another false start. Everything in the store works—artist banners are plugged into the main storefront, searching for artists returns respectable results, and advertising is alive and well—but clicking to preview or download a track simply does nothing. The store reported over 6,000 users online during our testing, but we aren’t sure if any of them are having better luck than we are.

One of my readers said simply, “they’re up and running now,” but it was anonymous so I couldn’t ask for details, or confirm that they weren’t a QTrax plant (which they’ve been known to do).

When it comes to the Internet and Music, there is no greater authority/asshole than Jasper of Webvomit and since he has a PC, enjoys music and fucks butts, it’s best if I just let him tell you about his QTrax Experience.

I have a PC. I have no idea what QTrax is, even though you’ve been whining about it for months. Music downloads? Wait…lemme live blog this.

Ah, “free and legal P2P music download network.” Brilliant.

What bit rate are they distributing their music in? It doesn’t say.

Uh…I have to register and download a Qtrax player? Do Not Want.

And waiting for them to “upload tracks from their record label partners” sounds like they’re not going to have what I’m looking for anyway.

Ok, lemme check my favorite private-tracker bit torrent site. Oh yeah, all that stuff is here — in every format imaginable. FLAC through 192kbps. Wow, they even have Ratatat’s new album already. Does QTrax have that? Hey, two MGMT albums from when they were still in college and called “The Management! Vinyl-only rips from my favorite bands — and that’s all on the front page! Unbelievable!

At this point if anyone wants me to switch from using bit torrent, legal or not, they’re going to have to come over my house and blow me while I download Depeche Mode’s discography…and finish me off during “Personal Jesus”.

But what do I know? I wouldn’t be caught dead using iTunes either.


Qtra…Q…Qtra…Just Kidding …wait now… Qtra…kidding

June 18, 2008

As reported by This guy and confirmed by the only PC-toting Neanderthal that I allow to associate with me, this new QTrax launch looked like the following messages.

We are in process of updating Qtrax with a new version and will be back by 2.00 PM EST. You can browse the site during this time but will not be able to login or register. Thank you for your patience.

Assuming they’re not in Indiana, and that they actually mean EDT (it’s Daylight Time right now), so after 200PM EDT it read:

We are in process of updating Qtrax with a new version and will be back by 4.00 PM EST. You can browse the site during this time but will not be able to login or register. Thank you for your patience.

If anyone with a PC who can read (I know that’s a tall order) wants to double-confirm that it would be awesome.

What would also be awesome is if someone told me whether or not QTrax was a delayed April Fool’s Joke.


QTrax LAUCH! WOOoooooooo um?

June 18, 2008

Has it?

I would have no idea, because i have an Apple, and QTrax isn’t available for OSX.

It appears that they’ve at least heard of Apple. It’s okay though, I’m sure they have a plan for the 73% of the portable music market that uses Apple hardware.

Qtrax uses apple templates


A step in the right direction

June 17, 2008

This morning I read a refreshing article by Sean Ryan at Sharkjumping.com talking about a 2nd revenue stream for Social Network Sites. Mostly, it’s refreshing because it shows that people are starting to recognize that just because you have a million users, doesn’t mean you have a million dollars. Perhaps the Internet is starting to move away from the “Step One: create website, Step Three: Profit” model of business.

In the article, Sean says

The best reason for them to pay is that in an SNS, which is really about people interacting with each other, the #1 goal is STATUS – how can I be different, better, have more authority, etc, and most importantly, how can I impress those around me with that status?

And he’s absolutely right. So right. If kids were willing to pay $200 for Marithé et François Girbaud Jeans for a little status in the Social Network of Jr. High 1992 dot awkward, then won’t they be willing to pay $2 for some digital status?

Maybe – but there is a link missing from Ryan’s argument (and his company, . Status is a funny thing – like a new McMansion in the OC (any of the OCs around the country, really) – we all know that Money = Status/Power/Authority, but in order for it to really count, there has to be a middle-man in there. Unless we’re talking about strippers, something has to wash the status of its “I have this because I bought it, not because I posses any redeeming quality.”

The good news is that as a society, we’re really, really, really easy to fool. So, Money = Nice Jeans = Status works just fine. We’ll buy that. Anything, really, to lightly nudge the our collective whoring into the subconscious is needed.

XBox Live is a perfect example. The Achievement system is all about status – it’s what drives the addiction, and the need to play online. Plenty of users are willing to pay $50/year to jockey for status – but what they’re selling is time, games, and more opportunities to get those gamer-points. The new-map-pack for Call of Duty 4 even had double-experience points for the first week; they know what’s up.

Sean Ryan is right: Social Network Sites need to sell status – but for it to really work, they need to sell something that enables people to achieve status.


Chill out, it’s like you all have never seen a freak-out before

June 16, 2008

Sit back, have a digital sprtizer, and wait for all the easily excited children (Venture Capital, I’m looking at you), to settle down. I wish there were some sort of apple juice and graham crackers formula to speed up the process, but apparently even “math,” and “reality,” don’t phase the mob when the word “digital” is involved.

So while everyone writes about how doomed anything without a .com is

…here are some actual numbers. (source: Nielson)

  • only 6% of ad dollars were on Internet in the last three quarters.
  • Internet Ad Dollars are up $865 Million from previous three
  • National Magazine Ad Dollars are up $1.1 Billion over the same period

Everyone is this excited over 6%? And what did it cost to get that 6%, can you keep it up? MySpace, I’m looking at you – I’m assuming “who’s boobs are these,” ads aren’t going to be a Billion Dollar growth sector on their own.

Also, National Magazines, declared dead by many, grew more than Online – despite total ad-spend being down.

Again I’ll make the offer to VCs: If you’re being pitched an ad-model website, of any kind, for 0.01% of what you were going to spend I’ll come to your office personally and slap the digital-boner right off your face. I’ll even bring bagels, free of charge.


QTrax Launch: FULL COVERAGE

June 13, 2008

QTrax is shaping up to be the funniest thing that’s happened to the Internet in a long time.

You know, other than offering full coverage of their launch.

In the meantime – head over to SAI and laugh some more


Qtrax Part 2: No really, it’s a bad idea

June 4, 2008

Due to the response (and recent mega-hit-count) to the article I posted about QTrax being a terrible business model I feel one of the comments deserved a follow-up post.

The gist of my argument is that to fund legal music downloads with advertising, and make any margin at all, a website would have to sell their ads at about $700CPM, which we can all agree only works if we’re talking about pesos.

A gentleman going by the name, “wow, you really are a moron” had the following comments, which I’ve broken down and explained, in my moronic logic.

did you ever actually use the qtrax service? apparently not, or you have an agenda

A: No, I haven’t tried it – as of this posting QTrax is still not available for OSX, despite them using what appears to be an Apple Design Template for their website. Obviously, having your music platform not work for anyone under 30 (Mac Users) is a great way to break into the market. Hey, at least it’s unique … right? Right!

let me give you my calculations. CPM is per imptression NOT per download.

A: This is an excellent point, but if people are coming to the site to download songs, how many more impressions will there be than downloads? Say someone clicks through 10 pages to get to a list of tracks, and then downloads 10 tracks off that page without refreshing? QTrax is still at a 1:1 ratio of Impressions:Downloads.

there are 3 non-intrusive ads per page. that means on a $5 CPM, each page view is 1.5 cents. each time you click on anything on qtrax, new ads are served, another 1.5 cents & so on.

A: Okay, Three ads per page – let’s move that ratio to 3:1 Impressions/Download, so now QTrax only needs to sell ads at $233 CPM … but they’ve tripled their inventory. You’re in the same place.

if qtrax can sign up 10 million users (very conservative, considerung limewire’s 80 million unique monthly visits)

A: The fact that Limeweire has 80M Uniques, is bad for QTrax, not good. That’s 80M people who already have a source for all their music, for free, it works on Mac, and has a 10 year head start. However, just to show you how right I am, I’ll let you have the 10M users … hell, let’s make it 30M users. The math is the same …

& each user brings in $10 a year, we have a company earning $100 million.

A: Since I upped the number to 30M users, just to be bold, @ $10/year per user (also assuming QTrax is able to unload all their inventory) you’re looking at $300 Million/year. However, the mistake you made was in calling that “Earnings.” It’s not “Earnings,” it’s “Sales.” Since QTrax is a legal downloading site, they have to pay for those downloads, and even at much less than the $0.70 a label gets from iTunes, I’m guessing each of those 30M users is going to download more than 15 tracks/year. Meaning, QTrax could have 80M users and just lose even more money.

also qtrax can serve targeted ads based on gender, age, geographic location, etc. this will bring high CPM.

A: Who can’t?

also qtrax software player is also a browser, so qtrax earns commission from that, similar to the deal firefox has with google, & others. qtrax also sells concert tickets & other artist related merchandise.

A: So you’re saying the music downloads are a loss-leader for their search commission and merch sales? I doubt it. I don’t have solid numbers on this to back it up, but I’d be willing to bet the Execs at QTrax are planning on their main revenue stream being Advertising.

qtrax actually has an excellent business plan. why don’t you download the software, or at least visit music.qtrax.com to verify a lot of what i’m saying above

A: Again, I can’t download the software … because I have a Macintosh, but don’t worry, Macs have nothing to do with Music … right?


Pay-per-Use: Old men and the Future

June 3, 2008

Today on Silicon Alley Insider there’s an article about Time-Warner’s pay-by-usage Access model.

I was reminded of something very simple that my father (in his late ’60s) said about the Internet five years ago,
“Eventually, the landlord is going to raise the rent.”

Get out. Run. This ship is burning … again.