Twitter has become my poster child for useless non-business. I’ve been over, and over, and over how silly this company is, but always with a light heart. Sure, it’s annoying that they get so much attention, but like a digital slap-bracelet, it will be gone the way of the pet rock before it causes any terrible rashes. So, I thought it was all a bit of a funny joke on Joe Pleeb and Judy Normal.
After some thought, and ROL (Ranting Out Loud) this weekend, I have downgraded Twitter from, “Funny joke that’s annoying but doesn’t really hurt anyone,” to “The only reason Biz shouldn’t be thrown in jail is because he sincerely thinks this is a good idea, and isn’t malicious about this at all.”
Essentially, Twitter, and other useless tech-rush companies are stealing money from old people. It’s a bit of a round about way, and doesn’t involve a gun, or fake FloMax, but it’s pension-pinching none the less.
Here’s how it goes:
1. Twitter (or revenueless company X) gets investment capital and starts building users and hype.
2. Founders probably think that someday this will make money, but they aren’t sure how.
3. Smart investors don’t buy into a company without a business plan – unless of course they plan on selling out in a big IPO.
4. Founders, fueled by Investors looking for that big sellout, puff the company up like a presenting peacock.
5. Fund managers to small financial advisers buy into the hype and haven’t learned their less from the last 1,700 failed tech companies, and recommend the stock to their clients, your grandparents.
6. Your grandparents say, “Tweeter? I heard Paul Harvey speak of that on the wireless. Whatever you say the kids are into these days…”
7. Initial investors and Founders sell out completely over a couple of years, make %192308123812 on their money and never, ever, actually had to even worry about a business plan.
Dicks.